Paraverse: Sakura
by Sleepy Milkshakes
Summary: <html><head></head>"Ah, being a member of the intergalactic militia isn't all it's cracked up to be, ne?" Yeah. Especially when you have to watch over and protect a living, breathing link to countless different universes. But hey - the plasma guns are pretty cool.</html>
1. Sakura

_"Congratulations, Uchiha-kun."_

_"Yes, you have completed the arduous 7 year training required to become a full-fledged, level 5 gaiuchuu-hogosha. Pat yourself on the back."_

Hn. Annoying.

A pretty, raven-haired boy leaned against the wall of the space station, checking his cellular phone. 2:57 - he had been waiting for about 30 minutes. And his superiors had promised him that his apprentice wouldn't be irritating... or late.

_"Well, you'd better get out there and defend the universe, Sasuke-kun! Ah, you remind me of my younger self..."_

Che. Kakashi. He never took anything seriously.

Of course, being a gaiuchuu-hogosha did have its advantages. Unlimited access to the Kaimen was one of them. Though not many things really pleased Sasuke these days, there was nothing that really calmed him down like a ride in Katakiuchi-chan. (Yes, he named her. Yes, her name was 'vengeance'. No, he was not renaming her.) Also, skipping ahead of the lines in space stations was pretty nice. Seeing all those jealous scowls combined with wondrous gazes was surprisingly satisfying.

But, then there were the downfalls of being a skilled gaiuchuu-hogosha.

Like being assigned an apprentice no less than a week after graduation.

Or being assigned a _late_ apprentice no less than a week after graduation.

See, apprentices were really big deals to their "sempai"s. The stronger, the better. At the least, Sasuke hoped for some little prodigy (like him) to come along and show the others how it was done. Naruto had not yet received his - he was still only a level three gaiuchuu-hogosha. (Che. Dobe.) He hoped when his apprentice did arrive, they wouldn't be a total disgrace to his oh-so-important Uchiha name.

Two metal doors slid open with a sharp hiss, and a flustered, thin, just plain _weak-_looking girl walked in.

_Oh, joy._

"Ah! I'm very late!" A frown riddled that pretty little face of hers. She checked her silver cellular phone, hurriedly pressing buttons to send a message back to... whoever. The bunny-shaped charm on the phone bounced back and forth. _Stupid_, he thought, as the girl slid the phone back to its original position and thrust it in her bag. She was so... frail, and helpless-looking. A twig with pink hair. Sasuke wanted to ask her if she was lost, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to let her walk around the station a little bit...

"Excuse me... have you seen anyone... have you seen an Uchiha Sasuke around here?" She asked with concern in her eyes. Damn. And he had been hoping to have a little fun, too.

"Who wants to know?"

Stare.

Blink.

"You're Uchiha Sasuke?"

He rolled his eyes. Before he could make a witty comeback, she spoke. "Ah, I've found you sempai!"

Stare.

Blink.

_Ah, fuck._

"You're my apprentice?" Yes, she was a level four hogosha... but such an annoying girl couldn't possibly be-

"Ah, Haruno Sakura, of the Northern faction! It's great to meet you, Uchiha-sempai!" She said, while saluting shyly. The shy smile soon left, though, to be replaced by a radiant grin. "I had expected someone much, much older than you, Uchiha-sempai!" She proclaimed. "Just how old are you?"

He had already graduated from the academy at the young age of -

"Seventeen." He replied flatly.

"Oh! Me too!" She smiled that bright smile of hers, when, out of nowhere -

"Oi! Uchiha!"

Oh, no. Oh no oh no _oh GOD no_-

"Hey, Sasuke-teme!"

He sighed (hissed).

"Naruto."

"Haha, hey, teme!" He stared at the peculiar, pink haired girl next to him.

"Girlfriend?"

"Apprentice."

"Ah." Naruto did a double-take, before snickering, and attempting to hide it but failing _horribly_. "T-this is your... _pfft!_... apprentice?" Sasuke sighed yet again, and the blonde burst into laughter. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, oh God that's just _rich_..." He held his aching stomach and wiped a tear from his eye. _"This _is your apprentice? She looks like a stick!" He exlaimed incredulously.

**WHACK, FLIP, SLAM**

In less than three seconds Naruto was on the floor.

Sakura's foot pushed _hard_ on Naruto's back, and a sickening crack was heard. She pulled at his arms with simply inhumane strength - where the hell did that power _come _from? - and ordered him to take it back.

"A-ah! N-na, I was laughing - GAH! - _with_ you, honest!"

Sasuke turned and started to walk.

"Come on." He grinned.

"Jakuhaisha."

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi. <strong>

**gaiuchuu: outer space  
>hogosha: protector<br>Kaimen: interface  
>Katakiuchi: vengeance<br>jakuhaisha: fledgling**


	2. Tsunade

"Ah! Ohh, this one is pretty! It looks so powerful!"

Sasuke, for the hell of it, flipped open his phone.

5:34.

It had been an hour since he brought Sakura here to choose a Kaimen. And an hour of "Ohh"s and "Aah"s is annoying for _regular_ people.

Imagine what it would do to an Uchiha.

"Hmmm..."

"Fucking _pick one_."

"Na, you shouldn't use such foul language, Sasuke-sempai! And they're not just robots! They're - "

"'Super-duper-amazing-outer-space-protecting-laser-blasting robots'. Yes. I know."

"Yes, exactly! So I have to choose carefully!"

How utterly _annoying_.

In the corner, Naruto snickered. "Ah, they really picked a good apprentice for you, eh, Sasuke?" Sasuke grinned. "Hey, Haruno-san, you wanna hear what Naruto's saying about you?" The girl turned her head innocently. "What? What has Uzumaki-san been saying?" A chill ran down the boy's spine. "Ah! Nothing, Sakura-chan!" He assured, waving his hands in front of his face. Sasuke mumbled something that sounded like "I thought so" under his breath when a message popped up on his phone:

hey sasuke-tan how's your apprentice?

FROM: Kakashi  
>5:35:27<p>

That smug little _bastard_.

He fucking _set him up _with this annoying girl!

Sasuke pushed the buttons on his phone so forcefully that they almost broke off.

go away, asshole

FROM: Sasuke  
>5:36:04<p>

tsk, tsk such cruel words. don't you have any respect for your sensei?

FROM: Kakashi  
>5:38:01<p>

no. whats the deal with setting me up with this girl, asshole?

FROM: Sasuke  
>5:39:56<p>

i thought you'd enjoy some company from the opposite sex

FROM: Kakashi  
>5:40:32<p>

great. just what I need

FROM: Sasuke  
>5:41:16<p>

I had nothing to do with it. the slug princess insisted

Sasuke frowned.

_Tsunade-san?_

why would she want this girl to be my responsibility?

FROM: Sasuke  
>5:43:03<p>

_No reply_, Sasuke thought after a few minutes. For once, the smug, masked asshole didn't have anything smart to say. _Che. And what a great time to shut up_, he laughed bitterly.

"Hey! Teme! Sakura-chan found one!"

Uchiha Sasuke's phone folded with a _snap_! Finally.

The giant mecha, all aligned perfectly, were all in a somewhat humanoid shape. They were various colors (_Katakiuchi-chan is black chrome with red highlights, so cute~),_ and arranged in order of newest models. (Luckily, as a member of the intergalactic militia, Sasuke wouldn't have to actually buy one. Purchasing a Kaimen would be like buying a new house every other week for five years.) Even though they were just large apparatuses, they responded only to their master's voice, and sometimes you would even feel as though they were people, with souls and memories and emotions. Sasuke thought that perhaps this was a mechanism used to keep away the loneliness and insanity of being in space on your own.

Sakura must've thought so, too, because she spent an hour examining different mechas and turning down the ones that didn't "feel right". At least she finally chose one.

Ah.

It was -

"A super bright white pearly Kaimen! Ah! I'll call him..."

Dark lashes lowered. A vein twitched.

"Sasuke-kun!"

...

"I think it's a stupid name."

"Shut the fuck up, Naruto."

"Aww, you don't like it? Does that mean you don't like _your _name, Sasuke-sempai? You want me to give you a name?"

"No! You're not naming it after me." _Pick another sexy guy to name it after_. Cocky, inner-Sasuke grinned. Outer-Sasuke scowled.

"Hmm..." A faraway look glimmered in her eyes. Her smile became small and distant. "Odoroki. Odoroki-san..." Her bright smile returned, as she faced the two boys. "It's beautiful!"

* * *

><p><em>Twitch. Twitch.<em>

More paperwork.

The paperwork around The Slug Princess was so high you couldn't see her. At least, that's how she felt.

Trying to ignore the paperwork, Senju Tsunade decided to fiddle with her pen. She was already stressed out to _begin _with. Meetings, maintaining the jutsu that kept her... youthful, as Maito Gai would say.

And that girl.

She couldn't stop thinking about her. But then again, she was too much of a threat to ignore completely. Sweet girl, though. She sighed. Why did this have to be her problem? Couldn't she go bother some other poor soul with nothing better to do? Or some asshole who deserved it?

_Ah, well, I guess I got half my wish. _

Uchiha Sasuke had known Tsunade for many years. Maybe that was why he treated her a little nicer than most other people. It didn't change the fact that he was still an ass about almost _everything_. She could relate to him, though. After losing her lover, Dan, and her brother, Nawaki... she had to admit it, she had become rather bitter herself.

And she couldn't imagine going through what that boy had gone through.

_Itachi... _She remembered. She remembered the Massacre, still remembered the somber air that had settled itself over the land of Konoha and how it wouldn't go away after that day. She'd never forget that dead look in Sasuke's eyes, which had unfortunately hardened, over the years, into a cold, infinitely angry gaze. (But, for someone who witnessed the murder of his entire family first-hand, Sasuke turned out pretty okay.)

And Kakashi had actually _been there_. He told Tsunade that he found an eight year-old Sasuke, bawling and screaming, splashes of his family's blood stained onto his face and clothing. The thick, acrid smell of blood... just the way Kakashi described it sent chills down Tsunade's spine. From that day forward, the prodigy refused to form much of a bond with anyone. "'That way, when they die, it won't hurt.'" She whispered eight year- old Sasuke's words to herself, shaking her head sadly.

And as for those telltale green eyes of the Haruno clan... unfortunately, only one pair remained in this world.

_"Otou-san! Okaa-san! O-Oji-san! OTOU-SAN! OTOU-SAN!" _

Tsunade would always remember those shrieks. The smell of burning wood, hair, flesh and bone... the day that those famous, pretty eyes went dull with pain.

To think that their misery was caused by the same person.

Uchiha Itachi.

However, Haruno Sakura's dull eyes began to flourish with a lucent determination (it reminded her of that confident look in Naruto's eyes) as she grew older, as if she wanted to make sure that she lived happily, like her parents would want. The woman sighed again.

Hopefully, this would be the last loop.

Suddenly, Shizune walked in, holding Ton Ton.

"Tsunade-sama, the - " She eyed the large stacks of paperwork on her desk and noticed that not even one paper had been signed yet.

"Tsunade-sama!"

"Ah, don't worry, Shizune, I have plenty of time to do paperwork!" Shizune frowned but decided that arguing with Tsunade-sama would just lead nowhere. She sighed. "Kakashi-san wants to see you."

"Damn it, what does that asshole want now?"

Shizune's expression darkened. "He said it concerns Haruno-san."

Hazel eyes widened before darkening as well. "...Let him in."

"Hai."

Senju Tsunade pinched herself between the eyebrows. He better not have screwed things up. So far, things were going according to plan, and if this didn't work, nothing would. "Ah, Commander, it's good to see you," a familiar voice drawled out. Tsunade rested her chin on her interlaced fingers and stared at him. "Hatake Kakashi. What brings you here?"

"I'm sure Shizune-san told you." Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. "Anyway, it's also about Sasuke-kun."

"Oh?" One thin blonde eyebrow arched dangerously high. Kakashi's bored expression returned.

"I think we should tell him about the Paraverse."

"Eh? Paraverse? The hell is that?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I figured a being with such devastating powers should have a cool name." Tsunade scoffed, and leaned back in her chair. "So you want me to reveal to him Haruno Sakura's powers?" She closed her eyes. "Absolutely not." Kakashi's visible eye shone with determination. "Mind giving me a good reason?"

"Because, Kakashi," she snapped, "this is the closest he can get to her without disrupting her powers, and telling him would only restart this endless cycle!"

"Or, it could end it." He countered, waiting for a response. Her eyebrows twitched. "That's not a chance I'm willing to take. What if Sasuke decides to abuse her powers? What if Sakura _destroys_ this world altogether? This is _not_ a situation to be taken lightly!" She slammed her fist on her desk, cracking it and sending papers everywhere. Kakashi didn't blink. "Doing this could help us understand why Sakura-chan keeps moving from world to world. The only person she preserves in each of them is Sasuke-kun."

Tsunade sighed for what seemed like the thouandth time that evening. "That's why I am ordering _him _to be assigned as her teacher and _you _to keep an eye on her. Observing her behavior is all we can do right now." Placing her head in her hands, she chuckled. "This is our punishment, isn't it? When humans try to make their own god... power is abused. Lives are lost." She stood up and looked out her window, at the countless stars. "And then you get _this_ quagmire purgatory. This is... consequence. Atonement. " A few Kaimen passed by, leaving streaks of light to linger in endless space. Kakashi walked over to the door and opened it. "Promise me this, Tsunade-sama: if it doesn't work this time around... we'll tell him everything. Before_ this_ world ends." He heard the Commander sigh. "Alright. You have my consent, Kakashi." He left, closing the door behind him.

_What a persistent son of a bitch! _The Slug Princess growled and punched the wall, leaving a large hole. Shizune came rushing in and worriedly nagged Tsunade for breaking her desk _and_ the wall _and _for not doing her paperwork, but the blonde ignored her.

_Damn it, Kakashi, if you screw this up, I am going to kick your _ass _in the next world!_

* * *

><p><strong>Kaimen: interface<strong>  
><strong>Odoroki: wonder<strong>  
><strong>Paraverse: random combination of the prefix "para-", meaning more than one, and the "verse" in "universe". <strong>

**XD Thanks for reading!**


	3. thesis and origin

_You..._

_Will you... leave me...?_

Subject Uchiha_Sasuke contains potentially dangerous sensory data.

Commence deletion of sensory data?_

_Yes_

Deletion of sensory data 38% complete...

Deletion of sensory data 54% complete...

Deletion of sensory data 62% complete...

Deletion of sensory data 100% complete._

_Don't forget me._

_Don't leave me._

_I will find a way..._

_Sasuke-kun._

R e t u r n ?_

_Enter._

* * *

><p><strong>thesis_and_origin<strong>

Humans, easily misled and full of curiosity, will always ask questions. We do not mind this. This is natural. They ask amusing and often interesting questions.

It is acting upon that curiosity that creates sin.

And now, they have committed a vice so inhumane and blasphemous... it is saddening. Perhaps we should record the stories of _that_ child.

Her flesh, whose creation is reserved for us, the gods, they made with their own hands. Every single cell in her body was created by man.

Her mind was essentially a corporeal supercomputer. She knew everything that mankind wanted her to know. She was the ideal human.

Humans strive for perfection. It is an impossible task. They gave her beautiful features, inside and out. Humans would call her flawless. Truly, they were trying to recreate us. Close as mankind was, it was, as stated, an impossibility. We are the gods of this universe - this child's erroneous behavior has been a predetermined event for several millennia now. We, however, were unable to determine the gravity of her aberrance. The corrupt files in her database were almost unreadable.

We goddesses had not determined that the humanoid, Haruno Sakura, would develop emotions.

We treated her as a link to the human world - she was our hand on Earth. When humans become a threat to gods, it does concern us. While aforementioned occasions are rare, they do occur, and should be treated as severe situations. The termination of souls is usually entrusted to the demons of the underworld - goddesses serve as judgement and judgement alone. It was for this purpose that we summoned Haruno Sakura's soul, and commanded her to exterminate such beings. She, centuries ago, was given a simple command:

Exterminate humanoid Uchiha Sasuke.

It was during the process of this task that our subject, Haruno Sakura, became aberrant.

Uchiha Sasuke holds a very dark power, fueled by a deep lust for revenge and justice. He is abnormal. The anger he possesses is a dangerous one. It was only natural that our subject would need a power much like Uchiha Sasuke's in order to rid this world of him.

**dopamine, adrenaline and serotonin**

Her emotions caused erroneous files to appear in her database.

_Forgive me, mothers in heaven_

_I have fallen in love_

Aside from the desire to become a human, and sever her connection to us, Haruno Sakura developed unnecessary attachment to subject Uchiha Sasuke. Her powers grew, and she used them in an attempt to escape from us. We are unable to contact her, and can only observe for now.

This is her punishment. When we locate her, we _will _delete these erraneous files known as 'emotions'. They have clouded her judgement and made her weak. More importantly, they distracted her from her mission. She has become selfish and distant. Just like the rest of our children.

We will find her. Justice will reign.

Humanity's punishment will be _severe_.

* * *

><p><strong>P a r a v e r s e :<strong> S a k u r a

_chapter three_

There certainly is something incredible about sitting there and just... thinking. Pondering. Contemplating life, its mysteries and its truths. When you're alone, you are able to realize just how small of a number one million really is, your mind wanders aimlessly, flitting from thought to thought, desultory ideas buzzing throughout your synapses. You begin to appreciate silence.

This was Uchiha Sasuke's way of thinking. It was especially a good time to think because he was in the dead air of outer space, which made less noise than the first snowfall of winter.

Hm. Snow. That was something he hadn't seen in a while. Did he like snow? He couldn't remember. When he was younger, his brother, Uchiha Itachi, taught him how to make a snowball. His first one was warped, and he kept shaving off the uneven pieces until the snowball was reduced to the size of a snow-pebble. It was an Uchiha's natural drive for perfection. Could anyone blame him? Nonetheless, he knew it wasn't anywhere near as nice as the one his older brother had made, and he looked down at the snow-pebble ashamedly. When his brother caught sight of it, Sasuke was sure he would laugh at him. However, Itachi only smiled down at him. "Nice job," he had said, if memory served him right. While this was not a very significant event, he remembered it vividly and truly cherished it. It was a nice contrast to the crimson memories of his parents... their death...

Sasuke almost shivered. It had been nine years since that incident. It was still painful to think about, but not as much as it used to be. There would come a time when he would remember his parents' smiling faces (although his father had rarely smiled) instead of their bloody corpses. He liked to believe so, anyway.

A holographic screen popped up on the interior of Katakiuchi(-chan).

"Hi, Sasuke-sempai!"

Silence, like all great things, had to end some time.

Arms behind his head and legs propped lazily onto the dashboard, Sasuke opened one eye to shoot an irritated Uchiha glare in _her _direction. "Aa?" Out came his flat and obviously _annoyed_ response. She smiled (hell, she was _always _smiling), oblivious and immune to this, eyes scintillating like stars. "Tsunade-shishou gave us a mission!" This time, both eyes opened. "Really?" Honestly, Sasuke was rather shocked. Was Haruno that good of a hogosha? Sakura looked even more excited, as if she had anticipated his reaction. "Yeah, she said we should report to her office as soon as humanely possible! So get a move on already!" With that, the strange girl left his screen, leaving Sasuke with the beautiful muteness.

Sasuke had to wonder why all these irritatingly loud people were so fucking _fascinated_ with him.

* * *

><p>"Shishou~! I'm here with Sempai!"<p>

Sakura sang as she burst inclemently through the doors, with a smile so wide you couldn't see those telltale peridot eyes. Uchiha Sasuke simply sighed and followed in after her, plodding into the Commander's office. Tsunade had to stifle a laugh at this... _odd _pair. Though she had been through many worlds where they _did_ clash, none were quite as comical as this. They were the _exact_ opposites of each other. Sakura was loquacious, beaming and bright, whereas Sasuke was reticent, cold and cynical. The Paraverse (the name was really starting to grow on her) really couldn't have chosen a more conflicting personality.

The best part was, he was _stuck_ with her.

"Oi, teme!"

Oh, great. More loud people.

Tsunade smiled apologetically. "Please excuse Naruto's very _un-Commander-like _behavior. He's here because he just received his fourth badge." Naruto's chest puffed up. She almost cringed when she realized that she had just fed the boy's quite boastful mood. She immediately sent a 'Don't brag, asshole'-glare in his direction, but he didn't seem to notice. "Yeah!" Naruto sneered. "You're not the only one who can receive missions now, jackass!" Naruto said, pointing an accusing finger in the prodigy's direction. Ha. That'd show _him_.

Sakura smiled. "Oh, that's great Uzumaki-san! Now you only have one more badge to go before you actually _reach _Sempai's level!" Tsunade placed a hand on her forehead and laughed quietly. Naruto had always been more experienced in jutsu than in being a hogosha. Sasuke, however, excelled in _both_, much to the blonde's chagrin.

"Hey, Sakura-chyaaaan!" The blonde complained. Sasuke's inner-self grinned_,_ but he remained stoic as ever, listening to Sakura's hurried apologies. Seriously, why _did _he spend so much time with such vexatious people? As Sakura continued to console their yellow-haired friend, he turned to the Slug Princess. "So, what mission did you want us for?"

Tsunade cleared her throat. "It's a B-ranked mission. You are to guard an princess, so try not to be an ass, Uchiha." She warned the pretty boy, but he only turned his head arrogantly. _Little bastard_. "She is from the easternmost regions of the Southern faction. She wants you to escort her to the West, but she also would like your aid in returning peace to her kingdom." Naruto's eyes hardened. The Commander already knew that Naruto was born in the Southern faction. It obviously still held some sentimental value to him.

"As you all know, the West is very far away ("No shit," a certain Uchiha commented, before narrowly dodging a stapler) - you'll have to take a Dai Kaimen to get there. It's a two week long journey." Tsunade couldn't help but notice the glint in Sasuke's eye when the words 'Dai Kaimen' penetrated his thoughts. "Just who is it that we are to protect, Tsunade-shishou?" Sakura tilted her head questioningly.

"She needs you to protect Hyuuga-san." The three teenagers turned to find Hatake Kakashi standing in Tsunade's doorway. Any smile the woman might have had earlier vanished from sight.

"Kakashi-san. What brings you here?"

The silver-haired man smiled beneath his mask. "I just thought I'd bring the client in." He stepped aside to allow an indigo-haired girl with lavender eyes in. She bowed respectfully, the silk of her kimono shining softly as she did. "Konbanwa. I'm sorry for intruding like this, but I must ask a favor of you."

When she raised her head, she caught sight of the boy with whisker-marks. "Naruto-kun..." Her eyes became distant and teary, but she smiled. "I always knew you'd be a great gaiuchuu-hogosha." Naruto grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. "Hehe, long time no see, Hinata-chan!"

* * *

><p>"So, who's after you this time, Hinata-chan? Is it those Kumo bastards again?" Naruto held up his fists and punched the air, pretending to beat up some imaginary villains.<p>

Hyuuga Hinata smiled painfully. "It's... not entirely about Kumo, Naruto-kun." She looked down and bit her pale pink lower lip. "It's the Elders. They... it's about Moon and Sun." Naruto's usually cheery disposition became suddenly very solemn. "Oh." He said quietly. Curious emerald eyes looked at the graceful girl with great amazement.

"Hyuuga-chan, you're very beautiful!" She announced suddenly. A blush erupted on the heiress' face. "O-oh. Thank you, Haruno-san."

"What exactly are Moon and Sun?" The Uchiha boy's gaze was cold and determined. Hinata almost cringed, intimidated by the young man's icy stare. "Ah, Moon and Sun are the two different Kingdoms of Kinugyokuto. Ano... I am the princess of the Moon Kingdom. Both Kingdoms are currently at war... I wish for peace. I also hope for an alliance with Earth, and the entirety of the Northern faction." She finished shyly. "Mm, don't worry Hyuuga-chan! We will help as much as we can!" Sakura promised. Hinata looked at the girl with surprised, shining pale orbs. "Thank you." As, Sakura, Hinata, and Naruto carried on stupid, trivial conversations, Sasuke led them into the space station.

Sasuke's mind began to overflow with memories of Earth. It had been, what, five years since he had last visited Earth? Not that it was very exciting. He remembered the way he felt back on Earth when he was twelve, before the gravity adjusters had been invented. He felt dizzy, and almost forgot to take his weights off. That was back before he realized what a huge _ass _Kakashi was. Good times, good times.

"Cool! It's enormous!"

Che. Rookie.

* * *

><p>Sasuke really wouldn't have minded the fact that he was escorting a princess to another region of space if Sakura and Naruto weren't there. Really. But between Sakura's naive-ness and Naruto's... Naruto-ness, not only was he being<em> annoyed<em>, but he was being thoroughly embarrassed. There was no room left for any of his shiny Uchiha dignity. Honestly.

"Ne, Hinata-chan, look what I can do!" Naruto expertly gripped a pen between his nose and upper lip. "Shee? Ishn't it cool?" The Hyuuga girl giggled, a bit flustered. Sakura tried it for herself and failed (cutely). "Aw, it's okay Haruno-chan! Here, I'll teach you!" Sasuke's grip on the controlling mechanisms tightened and his muscles became taut with what could only be described as annoyance. (He was tangible irritability. Poor, cranky Sasuke.)

"Shee, Shakura-shan? You do it like dish!" As the two continued to balance the pens with an irritaingly loud, simultaneous "Nyueeeeeeeh~!", a vein on Sasuke's forehead twitched.

It would be a_ loooong_ ride to Kinugyokuto.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Kinugyokuto: moon and sun (I'm so uncreative, it's not even funny.)  
>Dai Kaimen: biggreat interface (Oooooh even LESS creative.)**

**Argh! This chapter is so choppy and just GOD I SUCK and just ARGH! Sorry, my inspiration kept leaving me!**

**Well, thanks for reading my shitty work!**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**("What exactly are Moon and Sun?" **

**XD XD XD)**


	4. Stars

Okay, so piloting a Dai Kaimen (which wasn't really all that 'large' or 'great') to Kinugyokuto in congested conditions with a painfully shy heiress, an irritatingly loud blonde and a wide-eyed, cumbersome rookie had turned out to be about as unpleasant as Sasuke had expected.

Well, at least he didn't get his hopes up.

Subconsciously, Uchiha Sasuke rubbed at the aching spot on the left side of his neck (which he received from sleeping in the aforementioned cramped contingencies; he was SO not a stomach-sleeper). He did kind of enjoy piloting a Dai Kaimen - again, it was one of the few things that he _did _enjoy - but with _these_ - these _imbiciles_? He was surprised that he hadn't _strangled _them yet... well, the Hyuuga girl seemed pretty sane - but then again, she liked Naruto, so her mental stability was questionable. But Naruto and Sakura's _annoying _questions - _What does this do, Sempai? Where do I put this, teme? Have you seen my cup ramen? Does this button let you travel through time?_

Yeah.

And then some enemy Kaimen decide to swoop down and irritate Sasuke _even more_.

Oh. _Oh-ho_. They'd better say their prayers.

With Sakura and Naruto in their own, seperate Kaimen, Odoroki and the aptly-named Ramen-chan, Sasuke protected the princess in the Dai Kaimen. Truthfully, he was a little disappointed that Katakiuchi-chan would have to wait a while before kicking some ass, but he was the only one who really knew how to properly operate a Dai Kaimen - besides, it was probably better that Naruto was out there. Kaimen were, after all, chakra-powered mecha, and if Naruto's seemingly endless chakra reserves weren't enough to keep the enemy at bay, then nothing was. "Sempai, five to ten enemy Kaimen attacking starboard. Erecting temporary shield." Sakura's voice came crackling through the earpiece of Sasuke's headset, probably in the most composed and serious voice he had ever heard her speak. A shining latticework of lights surrounded Sasuke and the Hyuuga heiress. "Hn." He turned on the radar - the enemy was closing in fast. In fact, there was a multitude of them, swelling and gathering around them. Turning back to the princess, he ordered, "Hold onto something, Hyuuga-san."

"Eh? Ky- kyaa!" She did as Sasuke commanded before she was slammed into the wall, as he abruptly turned the entire apparatus around and began to shoot. Beams of blue plasma melted right through the shining metal of the enemy mecha, causing them to explode. Sakura protected the back of the ship as Naruto shot down from above at any enemies attacking the port or starboard. Sasuke grinned darkly.

This was what he lived for.

The enemies' mecha exploded, leaving bright marks, like ephemeral stars dissipating into the blackness of space surrounding him. He remembered, back when the Massacre had occured, that he would ask Tsunade for basic infiltration and defense missions to blow off steam, taking out his anger, frustration and sadness on the enemy. Sometimes he shot at stars, just for fun. He knew it was kind of pointless, seeing as stars were essentially giant balls of plasma, but when he was younger, his brother had told him that if he shot a star just right, it would explode. (A rather naive child, eh?)

He _should_ stop thinking about Itachi.

It made him shoot a _lot_ harder than was necessary.

"Hinata-chan!" Naruto's worried face popped up on the interior of the cockpit. Hinata gave him a weak smile. "A-arigatou, Naruto-kun. I'm fine," she assured him, although her tremulous body told otherwise. The hyperactive blonde's cerulean eyes glared at his onyx-haired friend. "Hey, watch it, teme. You coulda' hurt Hinata-chan!" His frown only deepened when he noticed the Uchiha's disinterested gaze.

"Whaaa!" Hinata's feet left the ground for a moment as large masses of melted metal began to form a sort of constellation on the underside of the ship. Thanks to Naruto's scolding, he hadn't noticed the shield flicker away. The enemy had taken advantage of this situation by shooting at them from below. (How refreshing. So they weren't entirely incompetent.)

"Idiot, can you do your fucking job _right _for once?"

"Fuck you, Uchiha-asshole!" Hinata jumped at the sudden expletives. The excitable young man shot her an apologetic look before glaring daggers at the Uchiha boy again. "Emotionless bastard..." Naruto grumbled before signing off.

"Tch." Sasuke's eyes lit up, swirling obsidian tomoe against shining crimson orbs, and the roseate-haired girl watched in awe as Sasuke shot down all enemy Kaimen with amazing precision. The golden explosions littered the sky, and reflected in Sakura's viridian eyes. She stared until she felt the booming vibrations of large beams of plasma being shot at Odoroki, and cursed silently at herself under her breath before turning to shoot back at the enemy.

* * *

><p>"Tsunade-sama."<p>

A white bottle of sake slammed onto the desk, splattering all over papers as one purple diamond crinkled with stress. Cheeks ruddy with intoxication, the legendary Slug Princess frowned and hiccuped, glowering in the direction of her sable-haired subordinate. "Whaddaya want?" She slurred. Shizune grimaced, her grip tightening on Ton-Ton. "K-Kakashi-san is here to see you," she all but squeaked out. The Commander certainly could be violent when the 'K' word came about. She had just replaced her desk and had the wall fixed from the last time Kakashi had visited. The government could only give them so much money, and aside from that, ushering a drunk Tsunade out of her office so repairs could be made was such a hassle. "That bastard again?"

Shizune bit the inside of her cheek softly as her dark, thin brows furrowed. "He's not that bad, Tsunade-sama..." Yes, although he could be very mysterious (what with that mask and unnerving, happy expression that he wore almost all the time), Hatake Kakashi really was a good person at heart. At least, Shizune liked to think so. Tsunade's opinion? Now that was a different matter entirely. "'Not that bad'?" The blonde snorted. "He's a dimension-hopping assassin, Shizune. Why in the world should I trust him?" An exasperated sigh escaped the younger woman's lips. "Tsunade-sama, without Kakashi-san we never would have become aware of Haruno-san's condition."

Senju Tsunade took another long swig of sake before scoffing and placing one hand on her forehead. "Sometimes I wish he had never told us," she replied bitterly. Another sigh from the brunette. "Shall I bring Kakashi-san in?"

"Sure, why not?" She said darkly. Shizune bowed and closed the door behind her with a resounding click. Tsunade held her head in her hands, fisting her hair and wondering if this hell would ever end.

* * *

><p>"Hinata-chan!"<p>

After destroying all of the surrounding enemies, Sakura and Naruto returned to the Dai Kaimen, but Naruto was still worried about his moonstone-eyed friend.

"Eh?" The heiress looked rather surprised at his apparent concern, and blushed softly. "I'm fine Naruto - "

"Any cuts? Bruises? Scrapes? Broken bones? - "

"I'm _fine_," Hinata insisted, flattered yet exasperated at the same time. Really, all she did was fall over a few times! However, this reassurance was obviously not enough to convince Naruto.

"Hey! Teme! You'd better watch it!" The Hyuuga princess sighed, while Sakura giggled in the background. Naruto's overprotective-ness was simply _adorable_, she just had to laugh.

Sasuke, who had been previously trying to take a short nap, scowled at the sky, the stars, the goddesses and everything else, and turned to snap at his blonde comrade. "I was only doing my job, dipshit. Unlike _you_."

"EHH? ARE YOU SAYING I'M WEAK?"

"No. You said that."

"GAH! You see? THAT'S why nobody likes you, teme! You think you're so superior!"

"I'm not superior _-_ I'm just surrounded by idiots like you and Kakashi-bastard."

"YOU - "

"IDIOT!"

_BAM!_

"IDIOT!"

_BAM!_

Both boys rubbed their heads in an attempt to soothe the pain that their pink-haired friend (or so she called herself) had just inflicted upon them _with a crobar_.

"Shit..." Naruto cursed quietly.

"Sakura, what the hell?" Sakura made a 'tsk' noise and shook her finger at them, resting the crobar on her shoulder. "Foul language will result in _more _crobar fun." Both boys involuntarily flinched - whether from her evil smile or the way her grip on the crobar tightened, they didn't know. "No fighting! Sempai and Uzumaki-kun have to get along! Or else!" This time, it was Hinata's turn to laugh as both boys tried to explain why they couldn't stand each other simultaneously. Their dynamics as a 'team' certainly made for an odd sight.

* * *

><p>"Kakashi-san."<p>

"Commander."

Sitting at her desk, Senju Tsunade poured herself some sake. She offered the young man some, but he politely declined. In a very unlady-like fashion, she brought the white bottle to her lips and imbibed the alcoholic liquid, her only escape from reality. "There had better be a really good reason you came here, Hatake." Kakashi shrugged, watching the icy vapor rise from the lip of the bottle, like smoke to a smokestack. "Well, _I_ think it's important." Hazel eyes narrowed, sending a deadly glare in the younger man's direction. He smoothly continued. "I noticed something interesting. It involves the Paraverse."

Tsunade's violet fingernails tapped impatiently on her desk, hazel eyes rolling towards the heavens. "When _isn't_ it about Sakura?" She scoffed. The masked man ignored her snide comment. "There's something odd about her brainwave patterns. They've become increasingly more frantic - it would seem she is in distress."

Kakashi tipped back in his chair, looking thoughtful. Two perfect blonde brows made a crinkled line across Tsunade's forehead - he was acting far too aloof for such a dangerous situation! She held back the monstrous build-up of chakra in her arm that threatened to make contact with that nonchalant masked face.

Tsunade's eyes flickered for a moment. This _was_ bad, right? After all, the more erratic Sakura seemed to become, the shorter lifespan each world seemed to have. Or, it could just mean that she was excited about something - something rather unimportant. But assuming the latter, folding her hands behind her head and sitting back would only leave her unprepared and vulnerable, and if there was one thing Senju Tsunade hated, it was being caught off guard. But she certainly didn't want to seem like she was taking this too seriously - most likely, there was nothing they could do about it. "What do you suggest we do to fix this problem?"

He scratched his nose nervously, in an almost silly manner. "Ah, I was hoping that you would have the solution to that problem...?" His expression changed suddenly to a much more serious one. "After all, you didn't like my first suggestion."

_Do you like seeing me angry, Kakashi...? _The Commander laughed bitterly to herself. "We've already discussed this, Kakashi." Her voice was low, dripping with quiet fury. "We've already come to a reasonable conclusion, an agreeable compromise. What more can you ask of me?" She inquired wearily. Kakashi frowned. He might have seemd like he didn't care most of the time, but he wanted to end this living hell just as much as she did. Sasuke, Sakura, Tsunade, Shizune, Naruto, Hinata - he wanted to save them all. He wanted to go back to his world as well, but as long as Tsunade kept acting stubbornly like this...

Well, if she wanted to stay in this goddess-forsaken world - ah, no, _dimension_ because Sakura couldn't destroy _dimensions _- whatever, goddess-forsaken dimension for the rest of her life, repeating and learning but never doing and slowly rotting from the inside out, that was fine with him. Dark grey eyes closed, shoulders rolled and shifted against the scratchy material of a chair. Two forlorn sighs break the silence.

"Kakashi, I think it's best if we keep observing her." The man's expression did not change. "For now," she added. But Kakashi knew all too well that she would probably stay, stubbornly standing until the very end. That was the kind of woman she was.

(He supposed he could try and force her, but concussions were a scary thing.)

What a condescending fool this man was. Tsunade absolutely could not stand him. He kept prodding and picking and pushing her motherfucking _buttons_ and shitshit_shit _she wanted to punch him so badly right now -

"Of course. I just thought you should know Sakura's current status."

_My ass_. "Right."

Kakashi stood up to leave, solemnly so, and bowed apologetically before turning to head for the door. And, it was in this brief moment that Tsunade felt truly... _bad _for her actions, her harsh, acidic words. She wanted to take it back, because she was really too proud to apologize.

"...Kakashi."

This always happened. They would have a heated discussion, about Sakura or something similar and he would walk away, and she would stop him and tell him something to make herself feel better.

"I... I know that you're only trying to end this, but..." For once, though, Tsunade's words were genuine and poignant, catching the tears that she fought to keep for herself.

"It's just that... I don't want to lose anyone else. Not you or Sasuke... or Sakura, or Naru - " She took a moment to still herself, took a deep breath and forced the tears back even further into her throat. "Naruto," Tsunade finished. Kakashi wondered just who she had lost to the Paraverse's actions. Her friend? A parent? A _lover_? The thought of the mighty, independent Commander with a lover almost made him want to chuckle. But what could possibly have happened...? In all his years in the assassination business, Kakashi had never heard of someone dying or simply _disappearing_ into thin air like that.

For a few seconds, he sympathized with the Commander. It was a true moment of weakness for her, and he remembered what it had been like, abandoning Rin and Obito for all those years to become an assassin. The thought still made him choke with tears and self-loathing. "I see," He replied, rather quietly. "I'm... sorry to have bothered you." He left, and the door closed with a soft click, leaving Tsunade to sob and grieve quietly and curse at the stars, demanding that they bring Jiraiya back.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ...You want to know why this took so long?**

**...Me too.**

**This chapter was kind of 'meh' for me. I don't hate it... but I don't particularly like anything about it either. :| **

**Oh, well. I tried to flesh out the minor characters a little more, namely Tsunade, in case you couldn't tell. And also, this is my sad attempt at writing an action scene. Google helped. Don't ask how. XD**

**If you liked it, well then, awesome! If there was something that you thought could have been fixed, please tell me so. :)**

**It's so late... ;A; I'm tired.**

**Please review! **


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